Which Reality will win?

I’m currently reading Leigh Steinberg Winning with Integrity, subtitled “Getting what you’re worth without selling your soul.”

Initially, I picked it up to understand his vision for clients more clearly. How did he see their value and then place a number on it for negotiation with a professional sports team, or other corporate entity, and, more importantly for me, I wondered how did the athletes see their connection to those numbers? How does a college football player step into a multi-million dollar contract and own that identity for themselves?

The moment that surprised me, on the surface, it’s such a simple thing, but reading it now, in today’s political and personal climate seems relevant on a much deeper level, is how Leigh addresses negotiation.

As he presents it, there are two realities in the room: the reality of him and his client, and the reality of the team. Both are valid, in the eyes of the side who holds them. The question is, which reality will prevail?

Or, more accurately, how in this space of competing realities, can a win/win be created?

That’s an important question for all of us to be asking: Which reality will prevail in the United States? What can be our win/win as we face different definitions of the idea of who we are as a nation?

The idea/reality that we are the torch-bearer for freedom and democracy, the aspirational light to the world has been under attack from the Right and the Left.

The Left seems to have a reality that the country is inherently bad because of our past history with slavery, and the past (and current) abuses of our economic system of capitalism. They do have some solid points. There will always be more to do to create balance and justice - that is an important on-going journey. This perspective is important as an obstacle to the continuation of racism and other abuses against citizens.

The Right seems to have a reality that the country is inherently imperialistic, and therefore should exert its will, “just because we can,” in the words of Steven Miller discussing the invasion of Venezuela. This group seems to be caught up on the other side of the slavery issue – that anyone with a visible level of melanin in their skin is somehow less than another human being who is visibly lighter. This reality too, has a perspective in history.

Neither 100% right. Neither 100% wrong...just different.

Then there is the idea of the country that I mentioned earlier. The idea that is somehow caught in the middle of these fringes and is fighting a war on two fronts.

For at least the past 150 years, we have been the country that welcomes immigrants with open arms, with the promise of being able to create a better life, with the idea of freedom. We are a country of, and built by immigrants of all skin colors. We have been the focus, the guiding light, the template for democracy…no matter our personal differences and perspectives.

This is the idea of the strong AND empathetic country. One that will fight injustice, and fight it to win, while sheltering and protecting those who have been victimized. This is the idea of a nation that fought the Axis powers, fought fascism and authoritarianism through sheer might...not to command, but to create a space for freedom to exist and thrive.

This is the idea of a country that can feed the world, and still maintain a powerful presence of strength, that provides comfort and security.

That reality is now in danger.

This all came forward to me as I was reading the early chapters of Leigh’s book. “Which reality will prevail?”

Will we cave to authoritarianism? Will we fall because the story of our founding, our common-roots is under attack from the judgement of presentism? Or, will we stand together, as we (re)learn to agree to disagree and find a compromise that doesn’t sell our soul?

The idea of America is larger than the idea of Donald Trump. He is just a man, less than 80 years old.

America is a 250-year old symbol ingrained in the imagination of dreamers around the world.

We are watching, in real time, as that 250-year old idea is slowly being destroyed by the actions of one man and the team around him actively trying to create a new reality by dominating perspectives and ignoring anything that does not fit their narrative.

You have, we all have, a choice.

This is not a one-sided negotiation. For the idea of America to survive, individuals on all sides must find common ground in the broader ideas of freedom, justice, and equality that are the bedrock of the idea of this country…otherwise, the reality of the negotiator-on-chief, will continue to gain traction in our collective minds.

We’ve already given too much energy to this cancer, but we’re not Stage-4 yet.

It’s time to stop and take our medicine; it’s time to stop doing the things that have brought this disease upon us; it’s time to heal.

It is time to address the actions and activities that have created this sickness, and start our journey back to well-being as a nation, so that we are once again the shining light for the world.

What can you do?

We are each creating this current reality and the stressors of it. Stop contributing to division and start reconnecting.

Talk to those with differing opinions; listen to understand, not to judge; gain some perspective outside of you personal silo...and realize that everyone, EVERYONE is doing the best they can, and always have been...just like you.

With this being Valentine's weekend, there is no more appropriate time to once again love your neighbor.