Time to stop hiding

Learning to stop being myself

How I learned to forget how to live for others and learned to live by my own rules.

Hi.

My name is Daniel.

Growing up, I knew things that other people didn’t seem to know. I’m not sure how, but I did.

I just knew. Answers came to me easily and I was happy.

I was connected to a deeper wisdom within, but as a child, I had no idea what it was all about.

Then others noticed that I was different.

At first, they thought it was cool. Then, when they decided I wasn’t normal like them, they started to shame me for being different.

So, I tried to fit in. I dimmed my light and shrank to their expectations.

I buried my soul to have friends.

I became normal, achieving normal results, with a normal income, living a normal, comfortable, boring life, with a normal marriage.

I wasn’t happy anymore.

I hated my life, but when I talked to my friends, they all said the same thing, “Life sucks. You’re lucky if you can be happy on vacation. Go to work and be happy with what you are given.”

So I did. Because that’s what they did.

That’s normal. It does suck.

I had a vague sense that things could be better; that there was a bigger, more fulfilling life for me, but I could not describe it. It was just a nagging sensation.

Then one day, about 10 years ago, I snapped.

My wife and I had been hanging out with our neighbors on a Friday night. After a few minutes, the conversation turned to who would win American Idol.

Not being interested, I excused myself to go home and get some work done.

A few hours later, my wife came home and started yelling at me, telling me “You just think you’re better than everyone else!”

The first few times she said it, I denied the accusation. “No, I’m not. I just had some things I wanted to get finished. I just don’t care about American Idol.”

Then she said it again. “You just think you’re better than everyone else!”

This time, my soul rose up. I firmly and confidently replied, “THAT’S BECAUSE I AM!”

I had lived small enough for long enough. No one was going to tell me to live smaller any more.

It was the moment where I declared myself and my value. It was also the beginning of the end of our marriage.

Not long after that, I had a similar experience at work. I’d been merely marking time, working my ass off, trying to control everything because everyone else let me down when I handed off tasks. I was a control-freak because I had the bandwidth to meet the high standards I held for my clients.

One morning, I found out an important delivery was missed.

Shaking in rage, I packed my office and walked out the door.

The following morning, I felt a sense of freedom that I had never experienced before. Even though I still had a mortgage, I wasn’t concerned about what was next. I knew it would all work out.

While I did eventually return to that company, our relationship was never the same. I was now in control of my professional destiny.

I won’t call these events moments of crisis, but they were definitely the beginnings of the death of who I’d learned to be.

I had been the person who had high expectations, but just accepted what I was given.

I had been the person who dreamed big, but lived in the herd with those around me.

I had been the person who lived small to fit in so that I could avoid feeling left out.

It was all a decades-long waste of my time. (Or was it? Without these experiences, I would not be who I am, where I am now.)

When that sense of self died, I connected with a deeper identity inside of me; the one that I’d stopped hearing late in my childhood.

This identity is the one that called me to dream big and achieve big.

This identity didn’t shame me or tell me I was unworthy, it was supportive and told me to dream even bigger, because I deserved it and was capable.

This identity is the real me. Just as it is also the real you.

I am not ashamed of it, nor should you be ashamed of your true self.

Your real identity does not shame you, it inspires you.

Only your learned self, that’s based on other people’s shit, will try to make you feel less-than, insignificant, and ultimately worthless.

It’s a liar, because misery loves company.

We learn to play small. We place rules on ourselves for a variety of reasons, most of which do not serve our larger dreams and desires.

We live roles as though they are who we truly are, when they are nothing more than a portion of our whole self.

When you choose to leave your learned-self behind, you can rise above normal by re-awakening to your gifts.

Beyond normal is what transcending is all about.

In remembering my gifts and embracing them again, I’m called to inspire others who have learned to live small, yet can still hear the whisper of their true self calling them to a bigger, bolder, more fulfilling life.

When I reconnected to my gifts, I shifted my career dramatically.

Since I was always curious about the power of the human mind, I learned hypnotherapy, and later life coaching.

Given my passion for wanting to help others live better lives, I then began teaching coaching. By the time I stopped teaching in December 2023, I had taught nearly 5,000 hours of training to over 3,500 individuals in 55 countries.

I’ve hosted international retreats where participants connect to their soul’s purpose and challenges so they can live more intentionally in this life.

From a curious child, surrounded by possibilities, to an adult who lived small to fit in, all the way to an internationally-known coach with creating impact with those far beyond his immediate reach.

And the journey continues…

What does all this mean for you?

It means your journey is not over either.

It means you are here on this planet, and here on this page for a reason.

If you can still feel it, if you can hear the whisper as soft as a breeze calling you to your destiny, if you have not yet given up your power to the masses, this is your sign to take action.

Let’s talk.

I’ve shared my story.

I’d love to hear yours. I promise to listen.

Contact me via email at daniel@transcendentliving.com or phone 310.746.5929