The Voice in Every Man’s Head That Sounds Like His Father.
It's Been so Noisy for so Long You Stopped Noticing It Wasn't You.
The Truth of It You made the call. Then you heard it. That voice with an opinion about every risk you take, every move you make, every time you almost let yourself want something different. It's been in there so long you stopped noticing it wasn't you.
You made the decision. Then you heard him.
I’m not talking about one of those rebellious teenager moments where you took a risk, made your choice, and just as you were about to launch, heard, “WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE. RIGHT NOW!”
And then there was hell to pay for being independent. What’s in your head might have its roots in that moment.
I’m talking about the adult you. The one with the mortgage, the career, the family who’s counting on him.
Option A: Stay the course. Option B: Take the risk.
You decide. Then you hear his voice. And yours goes quiet.
What Does That Voice Actually Say to You?
It praises you for playing it safe, “Good job. You have responsibilities.”
Or, it scolds you for stepping out in the direction you really want, “There’s no money in that. You better not do it. What the fuck are you thinking?”
In either case, it leaves you feeling like shit about your decisions and questioning, second-guessing, every. single. choice.
That voice sounds like your dad, but he’s not there. It’s just an endless recording, phantom memories, echoing lessons and fears from decades ago.
And the more you listen to it at the expense of your own voice, the more you lose your joy and sanity.
When Did You First Hear It?
Was it your choice of major or college? “There’s no money in that. Nobody makes it as an artist. I guess I’ll study computers or accounting.”
Maybe your first job. “That’s good hourly pay. I should take it, even though I don’t want this job. I should be happy for what I can get.”
Maybe it was your relationship. “This is not what I thought I wanted. I’m miserable…but I made a promise. Maybe it’ll get better if I give it a chance.”
Your soul. Sold in little transactions. Thirty pieces of silver was the cost of your voice, your expression, your happiness.
What Has Obeying That Voice Cost You?
Mortgage: $750,000
Debt: $60,000
Salary: $250,000
The loss of your soul: Priceless.
You listened. You did what you were told. You kept up with the Joneses.
But that voice inside you, it’s still saying you didn’t do it right, isn’t it?
“Why am I whining? I should be happy. Look at all of this. This is more than my old man ever had.”
And somewhere deep underneath it all, a voice you’ve been ignoring is still whispering, “It can be so much better. You can be happy too.”
What Would You Decide If That Voice Went Quiet?
If the voice in your head wasn’t directing your decisions, and you sat quietly for a moment, you might be able to hear your own voice that wants you to speak authentically. You might find yourself finally able to say what you’ve been holding back.
What does it have to tell you? What has it been trying to get you to hear for years?
It doesn’t start any statements with “You should…” It starts them with, “You really want to….” or “You’re happy when you do _______.”
When you speak that truth for yourself, what would happen?
His voice became your inner critic. That doesn't make it true.
Any voice that tells you you’re incapable or not good enough is the voice of a liar. It just learned to shout before yours could answer.
Your voice, the one that got quiet, is still there. It’s always been there. It’s been waiting for you to stop listening to his so you could hear it.
What is the truth you want to speak?
The Undivided Man helps you to hear it clearly, so you can speak it boldly.
Fourteen questions. Less than five minutes. Uncannily accurate.
