Category Archives: Abundance

Your Success 2017!

How many times have you made New Year’s resolutions that just didn’t stick?

After a few days, weeks or a month, you just went back to your old habits.

What about your goals? When it comes time for the hard work to make your outcomes a reality, do you favor short-term distractions and pleasure over long-term gain and success?

In this video you’ll learn how to write powerful affirmations that stick AND how to visualize the realization of your goals for the new year and beyond.

Follow two guided meditations to help you clear your thoughts, become grounded and visualize your goals becoming reality.

This video is 36 minutes long. Please DO NOT watch while you are driving or riding in a moving vehicle.

How to Write Powerful Affirmations for Personal Success in 2017

Create New Year's Resolutions That Stick

Here we are. The end of another year.

Did you accomplish the goals that you set for yourself at the beginning of 2016? Did you set goals for yourself to accomplish in 2016?

How would you like your life to be different this time next year than it is right now? New job? More savings? Better relationship(s)?

If you don't set a goal for these dreams, it is unlikely that you will achieve them in the next year. Actually, without committing to making changes, it is unlikely that you will achieve your goals, period.

Why is that? Well, put simply, if you don't know where you want to go, how do you expect to get there?

“I'll know it when I see it” is not a good enough answer. This response takes away all of your personal power (except for you power of observation) and places you at the whim of any and all elements that can derail each of our lives everyday.

Without setting an endpoint in the future, you leave yourself directionless in the present.

Let's take a simple example, one that is common in New Year's resolutions: “I want to lose weight”.

OK. Great. Now what? Where do you go from here? What exactly does this statement mean?

Does it mean that you'll forego that dessert when it is offered by your friends at the next party, or are you more inclined to be social and accept an extra 300 empty calories into your body rather than standing up for yourself and your health? Which driver is more important to you?

Be honest with yourself now. There is no wrong answer here, just a realization to accept. To what are you more committed, friendships and socializing or standing for your goals and winning for yourself? If you answered the former, you can now see why previous attempts at weight loss may have failed, possibly multiple times.

Make this year different. Choose to win for yourself.

Here are five key points to affirmation writing to help you be successful in your New Year's resolutions. We'll look at each individually and then add them together so you can create powerful resolutions for your success.

  1. Be Specific – The example above, “I want to lose weight,” is not specific. How much weight do you want to lose? It's a good starting place, but doesn't tell us where we want to be in the end. If you lost one pound, you would be successful with this goal, but that's not what you want is it?

State your goal clearly. “I want to lose ____ pounds” or “I want to weight _____ or less.”

  1. Be Positive – Don't write your affirmations in the negative. Our subconscious mind tends not to hear the words “no” or “not”.

In our hypothetical example of losing weight, let's say you choose to remove cake from your diet.

Do you say, “I will not eat cake”?

Read that sentence again. What's the first thing you think of doing after you read it? Probably eating cake.

By writing in the negative, we focus on the thing that we wish to remove instead of focusing on where we want to be in the future.

A more powerful statement would be, “I choose to eat healthy desserts such as fruit”.

  1. Be Present – Write affirmations using the word “Now.”

If you write, “I am going to lose 20 pounds in 2017,” when exactly are you going to lose it?

Will you do it over the course of January and February, then slowly gain it back over the rest of the year?

Technically, by the affirmation,  this would be success – you did lose the weight; you said nothing about remaining at your new baseline.

Or, will you stay at your current weight until October, then cram all of you dieting in over the last 10 – 12 weeks of the year?

Again, this is technically a success. But what happens in 2017?

Make your goal present, “I am now on my path to losing ____ pounds,” or “I am now actively taking steps to weigh _____ or less.”

  1. Be Timely – Not only do we want to be present, we also want to have an endpoint so we hold ourselves accountable.

Set a realistic end-date for your goal.

A healthy rate of weight loss is 2 pounds per week. In the example above, 20 pounds would take 10 weeks. Look at a calendar and count out the time it will take to reach your goal.

Circle that date and commit to it.

“On or by _______, I will weigh ___ or less.”

If your goal seems to large to accomplish, break it down into smaller, manageable benchmarks.

Let's say you want to lose 60 pounds – that's 30 weeks of time, over half of the year. That is a big goal and one that can easily be derailed because the end date is so far out in the future.

With your eye on that larger goal, set smaller benchmarks of 5 or 10 pounds at their dates so you can hold yourself accountable in the short-term and still have an eye on your  long-term success.

  1. Be Bold – Shoot for the stars. You can achieve anything you believe about yourself.

Consider this, there are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic time-frames.

Looking at the example above, if your goal is to lose 60 pounds, and you start on January 1, 2017, it would be unrealistic (and unhealthy) to set a your target date as March 1, 2017.

If in 30 weeks, you have lost 50 pounds rather than 60, be proud of you achievement. Do not worry about those remaining 10 pounds, you've accomplished five times that already. Those extra 10 don't stand a chance over the coming month.

How do these five points all come together in creating powerful affirmations for your success? By using these keys, your affirmations will read something like this:

“I am now on my path to losing ___ pounds by ________”

“I now choose to eat healthily.”

“On or by ______________, I will weight __________.”

“I am now actively taking steps to weigh _____ or less on or by _____________.”

Use the outline to create your affirmations for your specific goals.

If you need additional help in reaching your goals, consider hypnotherapy to overcome any blocks to your success. How do you see your Whole. New. YOU?

On December 17, 2016,at 6PM I will be hosting an intention-setting class in Redondo Beach, CA. We'll create powerful resolutions that stick – resolutions for your success in the New Year.

Write to me at daniel@danielolexa.com to reserve your spot and let me know your plan for achievement in 2017.

Practical Manifesting, Part 1: How Our Perceptions Frame Our World

Practical Manifesting, Part 1: How Our Perceptions Frame Our World

 

perceptions-1

Thoughts are primary tools in our quest for abundance.

In the wonderful world of debatable cliches, we have the classic mind-bender, “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

Does it really matter?

Here's a more important question, one that has significance in our daily lives and the way in which we live them: “What comes first, your happiness or some thing that causes you to be happy?”

I hope you answered the former instead of the latter.

If you answered the latter, we need to talk. But first, read the rest of this article.

Temporary events, and let's be honest, EVERYTHING on this planet is temporary, can reinforce our perspective on our lives. We see ourselves as winners,/losers, good/bad, etc, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah....

We create our lives to reinforce the beliefs that we have about ourselves. I've written about the power of the Reticular Activating System before. You can find that article here.

Let's consider how we perceive this physical plane. The visible spectrum of light exists between approximately 400 and 700 nanometers (nm), within the electromagnetic spectrum. Our range of visible colors range from violet at 400nm to red at 700nm. Ultraviolet light and infrared light exist past their visible counterparts at either end of the range.

While we can't see UV light, we can sense it with our bodies in the form of suntans and sunburns.

More frequencies of radiation exist past these fringes as well. We have created tools to measure these higher and lower frequencies, but we cannot see them with our physical bodies.

But within the range of light that we can sense, how well do we sense it? How absolute is the “truth” of what we sense with our physical body?

Ask yourself, what color is yellow? It seems like an easy question. Yellow is yellow. But ask your friends how they perceive color. Choose a series of paint swatches in a range of yellow, see if you and your friends agree on which are yellow and which may be some other color.

Scientifically, yellow exists in the spectrum at approximately 570nm. Anything on either side of that is not truly “yellow.” Those tones are tainted by green or orange to some degree.

Consider the color orange, yellow's neighbor on one side of the spectrum. It exists at approximately 590nm. Where in those 20nm of variation does yellow become orange or orange become yellow? Every person will perceive these shades of tone a little differently. At either end of the scale, we may have absolute agreement on yellow or orange, but it is in the area between that our finite, physical abilities reduce our ability to agree.

Are you still not sure that you agree with my illustration above? You “know” what yellow is and all of your friends agree with you? Good. I am glad that you discovered a consensus.

Now ask yourself this question: How does a truly color-blind person perceive yellow? To him/her it is merely a shade of grey, not the warm, energetic tone that we who are graced with color vision see. Or, in their eyes, is it an entirely different color altogether? Is “yellow” still yellow in this case?

Physical bodies, physical limitations lead to finite experiences of the Absolute. They not only lead to a limited perception of the world, they also lead us to limited perceptions of our True Selves. Much like our experience with the color yellow above, we limit our beliefs about ourselves to that which we experience in the physical world. We become the stories that we tell about ourselves – positive or negative tales that shape our reality.

PERSONAL PERCEPTIONS

Here is an exercise for you: Write down your perceptions of yourself, now write down your perceptions of your closest friends. What are they like? Are they happy people? Are they successful? What do you most envy about their lives? Ask your friends to do the same for you.

Now, sit together and discuss your opinions and perceptions of each other. You will probably be surprised to find that you see your friends in a more positive light than they see themselves and they will see you in a more positive light than you see yourself.

Which perception is true? Every single one is true. Your ideas of your friends are no less real than their ideas of you. We are all infinite beings with a multitude of layers, each perceived differently by everyone we encounter based on their experiences and awareness. Each opinion/observation is merely a facet of the overall whole of our being. As we embrace all these aspects of ourselves, we begin to see our true nature and the infinite possibilities that come with it.

Let's begin to erase the things we say we cannot do along with our negative perceptions.

OUR NEGATIVE TENDENCIES

For a moment, focus on the things you tell yourself. Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough, too stupid, too fat, too ugly, too poor to make a difference in the world or in your life?

When you try to achieve your goals, what things limit you? What things do you say repeatedly that hold you back, keeping you in a pattern of lack? Maybe,”Same shit, different day,” “It's always the same, nothing changes,” “The world is against me,” “I just can't get ahead” or, “There is no more opportunity left in the world.”

Do you have any others to add to this list?

Let's take a moment to look at those beliefs. Are they truly logical? If you were to look the variety of things that you encounter, both good and bad, during the course of each day, could you really say it's the “same shit”? Probably not, that's an over-generalization.

By focusing on the negative, we tend to see only those things that prove our ego's need to be right.

If you think you are a loser, you'll find reasons to believe so every day. If you think you are a winner, you'll have a different perspective on the same situations.

As humans, we can sometimes have a tendency toward hasty generalization. This is of course, one of the logical fallacies. To speak in absolute terms such as “all,” “none,” “always,” “never,” “everyone,” “no one,” is to discount or ignore the rest of reality. Do you really NEVER catch a break? Does NOTHING ever change? When we focus on negative generalizations we reduce our mental and spiritual awareness the good things that are happening around us and to us every day.

Oddly enough, we stay in this space because it is comfortable. It is all we think that we know. Actually, it is all our ego knows. Our ego is resistant to change, just as are many people. While we can improve our life by making positive changes to it, the factor of the unknown that comes with breaking our of our comfort zone creates fear in our ego. Its job is to keep us safe, so it finds reasons to keep us where we are, whether we are happy or not.

Let's look at this more closely.

Is THE WORLD truly against you, or are you just being dramatic? This is just a hasty generalization – a logical fallacy. With this false thinking, we are merely feeding negative beliefs in ourselves that are rooted in our ego. Our ego wants us to stay in our comfort zone. That is all that it knows and it feels safe. It believes that any changes can only have negative consequences.

Look at all of the wealth created in the past decade; all of the new products and new companies that have become household words.

Can you honestly say, “There is no more opportunity in the world” when you consider the sheer abundance of opportunity coming from just the Internet alone?

Again, when we focus on lack, we see voids; when we begin to focus on opportunity, we find avenues to advance our dreams.

You can choose to break free of your negative perceptions.

Start by downloading my free e-book here.     DESTROY Your Comfort Zone

 

How to be Happy Through Letting Go

How to be Happy Through Letting Go

Discovering Happiness and Freedom Through Forgiveness

Newsflash: Your life is your parents' fault.

Update: Your life is not your parents' fault. It's yours.

This just in: You all have culpability in the situation.

It's an easy position to take to blame everyone else, particularly our parents for our lot in life. They either didn't love us enough or they smothered us. They didn't give us a pony for our 10th birthday or they gave us everything; they were strict; they were too permissive... the list is infinite in variation.

While some form of these events probably occurred in your youth, not a single one of these things is the event that is at the center of determining your current place in your life. The issue is in how you define the event. In other words, it's on you, not your parents.

Realizing our true nature, that we, as individuals have worth, can be challenging. It seems that as humans, we're wired to see what we are not, to perceive what we are lacking instead of seeing our unique contributions to society.

Here is a self-worth quiz from the University of Wisconsin. Take it and see where you rank before we go further.

We're taught to achieve, to aspire to more, that we should reach certain thresholds of responsibility (marriage, income, own a home, etc) by certain ages. If we don't, we're defined as unsuccessful against the norms of society.

Where did those norms come from? They've been created by a collective agreement over decades, if not centuries, of human interaction.

And guess what? Those norms change every generation. What was considered acceptable to your parent's generation may be different than what is currently acceptable to yours. In this area of crossover is where many stresses occur: the older generation(s) holding onto what makes sense to them, trying to help their children fit into what they see as normal/acceptable, do not full realize that the world has moved on.

They're teaching (enforcing) outdated modes of behavior. Modes that when lived by their children in a different time, create stress.

A study at University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research revealed that basing our self-worth on external, temporary things can lead to negative consequences as these things, like our societal norms, change. If the thing we valued changed, can our sense of self-worth be on-going?

When your parents pushed you to be better, they were evaluating you against the template that they sensed as acceptable to them and their world. It's not that they were bad, they were just trying to help you to fit in.

Unfortunately, many parents approach the teaching of what is appropriate from a close-minded approach that is very black and white, instead of from a holistic approach that begins with personal satisfaction.

Consider this: Your parents tell you that you have to be married by 25 to be accepted in society. That you'll be happy with a partner – life is better if you are not alone. That it's not “right” to be single after a certain age – it carries certain stigma for both genders.

Now consider your point-of-view: You're 24 and happy. You're enjoying life far beyond what you ever saw your parents reveal in satisfaction; you're balanced, productive, and most of all, healthy in yourself and your relationships.

What happens when the “married by 25” programming kicks in? Do you ignore it, thereby ignoring your parents whom you love, and continue to live your life on your terms, but possibly nagged by a sense of guilt that you aren't doing what your parents told you that you should be doing?

Or, do you suddenly choose one of your friends (or a new person) as your partner-for-life and get married? You've left your happy single life in the past as you move forward on the road that was marked for you by the breadcrumbs of your parents.

Now how do you feel? You've done what you were told by those whom you love, but maybe you have not been honest with yourself in your desire to follow this path. Are you still happy?

In either of these scenarios, the important realization that must be seen is that there are no good or bad choices.

Let me say that again in all caps: THERE ARE NO GOOD OR BAD CHOICES.

There are only choices. We define these events as good or bad based on our experiences and beliefs in ourselves.

We learn our sense of self initially from our parents. Their interaction with us is a large part of developing our individual sense of worth. Too many people choose to stop there and blame everything that is wrong with their lives on their parents.

Once we start interacting socially, we get different stimuli about who we are and how we interact with friends, enemies, business acquaintances, spouses, etc. We begin to have the tools to define our lives for ourselves.

We can begin to shift our beliefs in ourselves as we take responsibility for ourselves.

Psychologist Carl Rogers understood that each of us has a unique perspective on circumstances. Our perception of an event is based on our personal experiences. Since none of us have the exact same experiences in life, our responses toward an issue or event vary.

I recently heard a story about twin brothers who grew up with an alcoholic father. One grew up to become an alcoholic. When asked how he came to this point in his life, he replied, “I learned from my dad.”

His brother never touched alcohol. When he was asked how he managed to choose sobriety for his life, he replied, “I learned from my dad.”

One common event, two drastically different results due to unique personal impressions.

Rogers believed that people had one motive: to self-actualize. We desire to become our best self; to build on our passions and create something that is uniquely ours in life.

Self worth is critical to this life that we live. When we believe we are unworthy of our goals, we will not actualize. Instead, we remain stuck in wishing mode or worse, in self-defeat.

What is the first step in becoming un-stuck?

Forgiveness.

Forgive your parents for confusing you with teachings that didn't fit your time. Realize that they were doing the best they could with the information they had. They love you and just wanted the best for you. Let go of fear and anger toward them.

Then forgive yourself. You are responsible for where you are right now. No one else got you here. No one else made the choices that brought you to this place. If you are not happy here, forgive yourself for following the path to this place.

Let it go.

You know that there is more for you in this life; you can see the image of a better, happier life, otherwise you would not be feeling dissatisfaction now.

Let go of the frustration, fear and anger. Know that you are worthy of your goals. Take a deep breath and place your past in your past. It no longer applies.

Set the intention to live your life, on your terms, to manifest your happiness. Choose to be happy.

DESTROY Your Comfort Zone

For help in breaking free of the beliefs that hold you back, visit me at www.danielolexa.com to download your FREE copy of Destroy Your Comfort Zone.

Learning Gratitude: A Personal Story of Realizing Appreciation, Self-Worth and Letting Go.

Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Southern California (And Myself)

As I look back on the past two or three weeks, I have realized that I have been a slacker.

A little over eight weeks ago, I moved across the country, the whole country, not part of it, from Florida to California. I immediately began the process of setting up my new life: New LLC, applying for business licenses, building my network and creating (and blowing up, and creating, and blowing up and creating) my new website. I was also applying for jobs so that I would have income while my practice began to grow.

After the initial flurry of activity, I found myself with some level of stability.

Without an external schedule to prioritize my time, I fell into a trap of, “I'll get it done later.” Things got done, but without a sense of urgency.

An old boss of mine used to say, “Tasks will expand to fill the time allocated to them. If I give you a task and give you two weeks, it'll take two weeks. If I give you the same task and give you two hours, you'll have it completed in 2 hours.”

I was a victim of not setting deadlines. I became distracted by the need to find a job as bills began to eat away at my bank account.

I've wrestled with the immediate reality that I had to devise some sort of income so that I could proceed with my life. Two months of few rolling in as I wait for LLCs, business licenses, seller's permits, etc, began to prey on my mind.

At times, I felt like a failure because I had put myself in a place where I had to go back to work for someone else.

I also allowed myself to become frustrated by the current method of online application for jobs. Really, if you have not had the “pleasure” of this process, it's dehumanizing. Few companies respond after the time-consuming task of entering ALL of my qualifications and experience, YET AGAIN, after I've uploaded my resume that covers the same info.

Ugh.

Did I exist at all? I began to wonder.

On the positive side, I did take the time to finish the manuscript for the book I've been writing since December (now 36,000 words) and, as mentioned, re-created/rebuilt my website numerous times and made connections for the future of my local business.

Then I noticed friends posting some videos from Gary Vaynerchuk.  In one, he's talking about people asking him, “How do I build my own thing if I have a full time job?” His reply was simply, “Do the work. Do it from 5P to 2A. No excuses. Just do the f***ing work if you want it.”
I shifted my mindset toward my situation and got out of my way.

Instead of beating myself up for not having a full client list and an office after only 6 weeks in LA, I stepped back and took an attitude of appreciation for the opportunity for income that will sustain me in the short term while I build for the long term.

Last week, I received confirmation that my job applications were not in vain.

What's my point in all of this?

I guess that it's OK to be where you are at. Don't take that to mean that I want to stay in my comfort zone or that you should. Take it to mean that where you are right now is where you need to be. There's a lesson to learn, there's information to gather: understand where you are right now and it will help you to understand how to get to where you are going.

I tell my clients that there are no bad goals, only incorrect time frames. I needed to learn that lesson for myself. I also needed to learn that I have to appreciate what's around me – yeah, the Reticular Activating System – what you focus on is what you tend to see all around you.

As soon as I stopped fighting my situation and began to see the good around me, it all started to flow.

You know what? The past few weeks have been pretty damn good. I got a lot done and I have a job. I am making network connections and have a stable foundation on which to move forward.

It only took eight weeks. From complete disruption of life-as-it-was in Florida to living in SoCal, realigned with my purpose and moving forward with a new approach and appreciation for life.

It is possible to re-invent yourself. Age does not matter; it is a fiction. You live the life that you choose to create.

Stop allowing yourself to live a life of default, accepting only what you see coming to you. Decide for yourself that your life should be what you picture it to be.

Now, go make it happen.