Daniel Olexa Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching


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A Pessimist's Guide to Manifesting 15: The Law of Polarity

Why what you don’t want is really what you want.

Heads or tails? Hot or cold? Front or back? Left or right? Day or night? Yin or Yang? Happy or sad?

When we begin the journey to change our life, we initially view our situation as one of have/have not.

There is what we “have” present in our life, typically a situation that is creating stress.

Then there is what we “have not.” Usually, these missing elements include peace, calm, relaxation, financial freedom, and a sense of balance.

If this seems counter-intuitive to you, congratulations. You are realizing that we humans tend to live our lives out of alignment, striving for short-term relief (or validating false stories from our ego) instead of focusing on our long-term goals.

We choose to pursue a regular, steady paycheck at a job that is not fulfilling rather than doing work for which we have passion. When we actually do choose to take action on our passions so that we have some sense of joy, we tend to relegate these activities to mere hobbies instead of a lifestyle.

Last week, as part of our discussion on the Law of Adjustment, I offered the idea that mankind is naturally wired to be happy as our default state of being. LINK

Why then do we allow ourselves to be mired in unhappiness?

One possible explanation is negativity bias.

Negativity is a tool for survival. It has kept us alive for thousands of years.

Unfortunately, we get stuck in this mode, filling our Reticular Activating System with fear, anger, and disempowering ideas regarding our lack of worth.

In this mode, we focus on obstacles instead of opportunities.

Newsflash: Obstacles are opportunities.

Moving from the negative environment that is what we have, we may tend to think of our goal as a separate existence. It feels so far removed from where we are, that it’s almost inconceivable to think that we could achieve this new outcome. That’s an understandable point-of-view.

If your perspective is coming from being poor, the concept of rich seems like it could only take place in another life, or for another person. Where is your frame of reference for financial abundance when you are struggling with debt or just getting by?

This perspective is a trap on many levels.

Not only does it tie us vibrationally to the low-level emittance of poor (which resonates out to the Universe and attracts more poor-ness to us), it also separates us from our potential.

The negative power of “or.”

This sense of duality, invoking the word “or,” also interrupts our connection to the Flow by interrupting the Law of Polarity.

We think we are either “rich” or “poor,” “healthy” or “sick,” when in fact we are each of those things at the same time.

The Law of Polarity recognizes that all things are included in their opposites. What appear to be separate concepts are actually degrees of the same idea and they exist in a state of flow.

Visually, the Law of Polarity is illustrated by the Tao symbol of Yin/Yang. Each element contains its opposite and these forces exist equally.


When does day become night? When does light become dark? Is there not a degree of light within the darkness of night, just as there is shadow during the day?

At what point does the head side of a coin become tails? Are they not the same coin? If we flip the coin and it lands heads-up, does the tail side cease to exist?

Understanding polarity and flow

When does your current life become your new life? In one massive shift, or in a series of minor adjustments?

When you are angry, at what point do you become happy?

When you are neither happy nor angry, what are you?

When you are neither happy nor angry, what are you?

If we view anger and happiness as a linear scale, with each emotion represented at the extremes, at what point does anger become happiness?
While treated as separate emotional states, the feelings known as “angry” and “happy” are merely opposite expressions of a single emotional range. They are conjoined terms, existing as an inseparable pair.

Without happy, we could not know the frustration that comes when we are out of alignment and experiencing anger. In this case, anger is our warning sign that we are not experiencing happiness.

Without anger, we could not appreciate happy.

When we’re not stuck in one state or the other, when we allow ourselves to become observers of our emotions, we see that our emotions flow naturally.

Anger does not immediately give way to happiness. It slowly evolves along the continuum from anger to frustration to sadness to acceptance to peace to happy.

There are no good or bad emotions. They are just feelings that come and go (as long as we don’t hold onto them).

As you have experienced in your life, you are never completely experiencing one emotion permanently. Emotions flow.

Unfortunately, because of our negativity bias, we tend to get stuck focusing on the emotions that resonate with frustration. This level of attention leads us to view the happy moments seem all too fleeting, while our darker times feel like they are ever-present.

How does The Law of Polarity apply to your situation in life?

The current state of being that you wish to change is merely a reflection of the state that you desire to achieve.

You are probably, at this moment, in a state of “have not,” feeling stressed or frustrated because you are eager for a state where you “have” peace, happiness, abundance, etc.

Sometimes it seems as if our goal exists as a completely separate life from our current situation.

Both states exist in the framework of your life. If you think about your life, you have probably experienced times which matched your ideal outcome. At these times, you felt powerful, happy and in balance with your goals.

In fact, there are probably elements of your outcome that exist in your life right now, but you aren’t aware of them because you are fixating your attention on the obstacles.

It’s time to become aware of the right things.

Our emotional GPS

When you get in your car to take a trip to a new restaurant, you probably use GPS to find out the most efficient path to the destination.

If your GPS did not have an accurate location for your starting point, you would not be given helpful directions to reach the restaurant.

Let’s look at it this way: If you were in Los Angeles preparing to drive to Seattle, would it be helpful to you if your GPS thought you were starting from New York? Probably not.

Unfortunately, that is exactly what we do when we try to create our outcomes: We do not take an accurate positioning of where we are in life at the moment we are beginning our journey.

It is critical at this point of our manifesting process to recognize where you are right at this moment.

HOMEWORK: Be here now.

If you are feeling stuck and frustrated, then stop, breathe and relax.

Get out of your way by removing your resistance to what is. Recognize that the state of “have not” is resulting in frustration. It is just part of the flow to your state of “have.”

Acknowledging the present situation is not accepting and embracing it as though it is a permanent state.
Recognition of your current state is nothing more than declaring, “This is where I am right now.”

Once you know where you are, you can move forward with efficiency.

When you examine your current life under the lens of the Law of Polarity, what elements of your desired life already exist?

Focusing on these elements, impressing them to your RAS, ask yourself, “How can I work with these factors to increase their presence and impact?”

What things currently exist that you need to jettison? What do you need to do to remove (or lessen) these influences that have been holding you back?

Write a comment below and let me know how the Law of Polarity resonates with your journey.

Also, don’t forget to download your free copy of my e-book, A Pessimist’s Guide to Manifesting, here.