Daniel Olexa Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching
SantaMonicaPalm.jpg

Blog

Daniel Olexa's Blog

Obstacles to Your Growth, Part 4: Other People’s Opinions

Learn how to ignore those who hypnotize you into believing that you are not good enough

For at least the past 15 years, I’ve chosen MSN as my homepage for my browser.

 

Browsers changed, Explorer, Safari, Chrome, Firefox…but MSN was always there for me as my chosen place to greet my day.

 

In the past year or so, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend on this page, and sadly on others including CNN.

 

It’s a trend toward gossip, hyperbole, and pointless articles that have all have an interesting thread holding them together: How the reader is less-than, or not good enough, if they don’t meet a certain expectation .

 

These aren’t news. They’re filler. Vapid, pointless filler.

 

They’re opinions. And we all know what opinions are like.

Today’s clickbait article on MSN is “The minimum salary you need to be happy in each state.”

I bit at the bait. I clicked…and now I’m writing this article for you.

 

There is some interesting syntax in that title. Let’s look examine it.

 

Notice the word “minimum.” Notice the word “need.”

 

Need is akin to “must.” It’s an obligation according to Merriam-Webster. A need is a requirement that must be met: I must earn a certain amount in each state in order to be happy.

 

Let’s look at my state of California. According to the article, citizens of The Golden State can’t be happy unless they earn at least $148,050.

 

Yet, according to the US Department of Health and Human Services, the median income for a family of four in California is only $80,458.

The median income for a one-person family is only $25,176.

Yet, this article clearly state that the minimum, the absolute least amount, of salary that Californians require is much, much higher. Anything less is implied to leave the earner unhappy.

 

So, I guess more than half the state must be unhappy according to this nonsensical article. I can tell you from personal experience interacting with a wide variety of people, that is not true.

 

While income may have an effect on how pleasurable someone finds life, money is not the core element of happiness.

 

Happiness is an internal metric. It has nothing to do with money, friends, family, size of home, or anything else.

 

Anyone who tells you that it does is full of shit.

 

Happiness is a choice. Happiness is personal. Happiness is not based on pointless articles and asinine data analysis.

 

What do articles like this have to do with hypnosis?

 

One of the ways in which a message can be impressed into our subconscious and become a belief is through repetition. Consistent, repeated exposure to an idea can result in our subconscious accepting it as true, because, well, we hear it all the time, it must be true.

Why do you think that viewers of Fox News and MSNBC have such personal attachment to their points-of-view? Because they hear the same shit day after day after day.

Reinforcement through repetition creates belief.

 

How many times have you seen (and maybe read?) such articles as:

 

How the Stars are Not Like Us

The Kardashians are Better Than You  

How the Royals Spend Their Weekends    

I. DON’T. CARE! (And you shouldn’t either.)

Yet, we click on this crap out of some bizarre interest in flogging our own self-worth and reinforcing our undeservedness.

By doing so, we reinforce that belief that we are less-than.

 

No wonder nearly 10% of the US population feels depressed.

 

They’ve been exposed to message after message after message about how they are not like the affluent people they see on screen, those people they look up to, and possibly aspire to be like.

Underlying message to these articles: You’re not like them, just stop already. You can’t get there.

 

After seeing these articles over and over and over again, we humans tend to concede to the message. We throw in the towel and choose to shuffle along in life like a zombie from The Walking Dead.

  

Worse yet, our friends, family, and co-workers read this same pablum and repeat it over lunch and dinner. Now the message is coming from people we know…now it carries even more emotional importance. “If people I know and like believe this, then I guess I should too.”

 

Yes, Virginia, we are social animals and we like to be liked. We mirror those around us so we fit in and are accepted to the group.

  

And therein lies the good news.

You have the choice of whom you can mirror. A mirror reflects that which is placed in front of it. If you want to feel deserving and achieve your goals, then start surrounding yourself with those who inspire you, rather than those who tear you down.

Cut the toxic people (and media) out of your life. I’ll let Isaiah Hankel tell you why.

As you surround yourself with positive media and supportive people, things that actually lead you to enjoying life and developing your sense of happiness, then you will feel happy and in control.

Through repetition of exposure to these empowering influences, you can embed and solidify your personal power and well-being. You can essentially use the experience of repetition to remove the hypnotic influence of toxic messages and instead hypnotize yourself with ideas and messages that improve your life.

Let this be the first message of your new way of being: You deserve to be happy.