Obstacles to Your Growth, Part 5: The Real Reason You Think You Don’t Need a Life Coach
Your comfort zone is way too comfortable, (Newsflash: it’s killing you)
The word “Comfort,” as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary, means “the pleasant and satisfying feeling of being physically or mentally free from pain and suffering, or something that provides this feeling”
Sounds like a great state-of-being, right?
Free from suffering, peaceful, stress-free…who wouldn’t want that?
Answer: Anyone who actually wants to achieve something with their life.
Comfort kills dreams.
We humans are emotional animals. We make choices based on avoiding pain or increasing pleasure.
When we’re in a state of comfort, we want to stay there. It’s pleasurable. These moments in our lives are similar to waking up on a cold, snowy winter’s morning snuggled under a warm blanket. You can feel the chill of the air on your face, but the rest of your body is warm…why get out of bed to face the cold air of the room on the rest of your body?
Unfortunately, when we feel these impulses in regard to the scope of our lives, that 5-minute snooze becomes a 5-year cycle of repeating the same familiar actions over and over.
There is comfort in familiarity. When we repeat the same steps, we get good at them, we can anticipate the outcomes, we may even receive praise for our excellence at performing within this zone.
The question then becomes, “Is this zone of excellent comfort serving your growth?”
While there is comfort in familiarity, there is also something else breeding in that space: Contempt.
Contempt can take many forms. Maybe it’s toward your boss who doesn’t recognize your desire for promotion to a new role; maybe it’s toward your relationships that seem stuck and unfulfilling; or maybe it’s toward the Universe/God/Life Itself as you feel victimized about your inability to be happy.
You can choose to get stuck in the anger and frustration that results from contempt, or you can choose to use those feelings as a springboard to catapult you to a new life beyond your now uncomfortable-comfort zone.
So why don’t you?
Because it’s still comfortable. Still familiar. What may exist outside of this zone is probably unknown, and that’s scary.
The strongest emotion always wins. Fear is a powerful motivator that can keep us from experiencing joy
Why pursue scary and unknown when there’s comfort (albeit a miserable experience) to be “enjoyed?”
Take a moment to imagine yourself as a chick in an egg. You’ve grown up in this space. You are intimately familiar with every millimeter of shell around you. It’s warm in here, all of your nutritional needs have been met, and you’re feeling good about life.
But then, as you grow just a little bigger, that shell begins to feel constricting. You begin to notice that it’s getting a little harder to breathe in there. Your wings are pinching against your body.
You are faced with a choice: begin pecking at the shell that has protected and sustained you up to this point in your young life and risk the unseen and unknown on the other side, or stay in comfort and suffocate.
It’s your life. What do you choose? Certain death, or the possibility of life?
Wakeup call: YOU ARE THE CHICKEN. What have you been choosing for yourself?
Have you been choosing to stay in that job/relationship/mindset that no longer serves your ideal life, but has an immediate payoff of comfort (regular paycheck/feeling not alone/familiar belief)?
By the way, halfway doesn’t get the job done. Creating an opening may give you some air to breathe, but that shell is still around you. Finish the job.
Growth requires change. Old thinking does not solve new problems. It may give us insight, but it will probably not deliver a breakthrough, novel solution.
If you feel like there is a better life waiting for you, that this familiar one is no longer serving your long-term goals for happiness and prosperity, then it’s time to start pecking at that eggshell that surrounds you.
You may not see it, but I’m pretty sure you can feel it.
Working with a coach can help you to discover the tools that you already have at hand to break through that shell in an efficient, effective way, rather than haphazardly striking out.
A coach can help you find the strength and lessons from your new experiences, where otherwise you may only see failure based on an old mindset.
Coaching is an investment in you.
What can you accomplish in a more open space where you are supported and have room to breathe?
Take a deep breath and contact me here. Let’s get you some space to start fully living your life.