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A Pessimist’s Guide to Manifesting

Manifesting perspective: Do you see the thorns or the flower? What are you attracting?
Pessimist's Guide to Manifesting: Five Reasons Why the Law of Attraction Doesn't Work.

Five reasons why the Law of Attraction doesn’t work

 

If you’re like me, you’ve read that book. You know the one, don’t deny it… you don’t have to keep it a “secret.”

After reading it, you probably fell into one of two camps:

You either thought, “This is great! I just have to wish for what I want! Why have I been working so hard to create a career, buy stuff and (insert your goal here).” And you started reciting affirmations about your intended outcomes and desires.

OR,

You thought, “This is bullshit. I can’t believe I just spent $20 on this crap.”

I was initially in the first camp. I was excited by the concepts in the book and on a metaphysical level, they made sense to me.

But then, it didn’t work.

That’s when I became a turncoat and stepped into the other group.

The physical reality of my experience was more real to me than the goals of my vision.

I went back to a boring job, accepting what I thought I deserved and I was successful… for a while.

A few years ago, I had a major shakeup in my life. It wasn’t so much an existential crisis as it was an awareness, a need to break free of all the stuff and beliefs that I’d wrapped my life in. They weren’t contributing to my happiness any longer.

That journey still continues. It’s been a challenging climb up the mountain of personal reinvention.

(From an optimist’s perspective – more on that later – through being aware of my challenges as I navigate this change, I’m charting a path by which to help others. That’s the realization of my purpose that started me on this course years ago.)

While reading Martin Seligman’s brilliant book, Learned Optimism, last night, I realized that I am a mild optimist.

You can take the test here.

What does it mean to be a mild optimist?

On the bright side, I expect things to work out. I take personal responsibility for my role in situations and my ability to find success.

On the darker side, as someone who is only mildly optimistic, I find that sometimes I am temporarily overwhelmed by environment. I fall into brief, false thoughts, hasty generalizations such as, “Nothing ever goes right,” “Why do I always have to work so hard,” and “I’m not meant for this.”

I bet you’ve been there too.

What else did I learn from Seligman’s book?

I can change my perspective and learn to be more optimistic.

I am a work in progress. As are you.

Over the years, one major realization that I’ve learned to help me get out of trash thinking is that over-generalizations are false. They logically cannot exist.

We can think, “Nothing ever goes right for me,” but when we turn our focus and begin to look for even the smallest iota of good, we can find it.

Maybe our coffee was perfect this morning, maybe we woke up on time and felt great rather than groggy, or maybe we just saw a perfect sunrise.

While those all may seem meaningless, it’s the awareness of their presence in our life that begins to shift our thinking from victim-minded to gratitude.

Awareness is an active state of mind. We choose to be aware – and we choose that of which we are aware.

Choose wisely.

Try it. Spend the next week being aware of good things as they happen, or reflect on them before you go to sleep. Your opinion of yourself will change for the better.

What does this have to do with the Law of Attraction and why we seem to struggle with it?

Your outlook determines what you attract.

If you’re a pessimist, or have pessimistic tendencies, you’ll not look for the signs that things are moving in the right direction. Instead, you’ll perceive the obstacles.

Or, you may not believe that you deserve to achieve your goals and will self-sabotage your efforts.

Here’s a list of five reasons why the Law of Attraction doesn’t work. See if you identify with one or more of them.

1. You aren’t clear on your goals

You say you want one thing (a better job, more money, a better relationship…) but you aren’t defining what those things will look like.

How will the job be better? Shorter hours, no working on weekends, better environment, better alignment with your skills?

How much more money?

What about the relationship? More supportive, more intense, more personal space, less alone-time?

Write these goals clearly and define them outside of temporary fixes.

After finding a new job, many discover that the same problems that drove them from the previous position still exist in the new opportunity.

That’s because they weren’t clear on what they sought to change.

They didn’t properly define their outcomes.

2. You don’t want to do the work

W-O-R-K.

Probably the most offensive four-letter word in the English language.

Doing work implies getting results. It’s pretty basic Newtonian physics.

Unfortunately, we think that the work will be easier than it turns out to be.

If we’re pushing against the wall of our goals, shouldn’t our goals be responding?

When we don’t see results in our imagined time-frame, we begin to believe we are wasting our energy and efforts. So, we stop striving and go back to surviving.

We view celebrities, friends and family and judge their success as “overnight,” possibly as “undeserved,” because we don’t see the years of work that they dedicated themselves to in an effort to realize their success.

Wishing is easier than working. That’s why that book I mentioned earlier was so popular.

Admittedly, it worked for some people. Others however, were left struggling with an unclear path forward.

If you’ve read this far, you are probably one of the latter group and you want answers.

3. You are afraid – of failure or success

Let’s revisit that idea above regarding celebrities, friends and family.

When you think about their success, what do you feel?

Do you feel that they didn’t deserve it, or maybe that they’re too successful: that they have too much money, stuff, popularity, blah, blah, blah?

You’re probably thinking, “If I had what they have, I’d make a difference in the world,” or “I wouldn’t flaunt my wealth like the do. It’s distasteful.”

I’m here to call you on your bullshit right now.

If you feel this way toward successful people, then you are projecting your own fears forward.

Maybe internally you don’t feel deserving of success.

It’s understandable to feel afraid of failure – that’s a position that is ingrained in our cultural psyche. Failure is thought to be bad.

But growth comes from failure. We learn how to move forward and navigate a new path toward success.

Thomas Edison on failure
Thomas Edison's perspective on failure. Do you perceive your efforts?

On creating the light bulb, Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

His resilience came from learning from his errors and shifting his course for the next experiment.

Many of us, when faced with perceived failure go back to the same course of thinking and try again. Repeating the same process over and over, expecting different results. That’s the stereotypical definition of insanity.

The more insidious fear, the one that is the hardest for most of us to accept for ourselves is the fear of success.

What? Fear of success, you say?

I can hear you now, “Why would I be afraid of succeeding?”

Let me ask you, what does success look like?

Yeah, there’s the gilding on the surface – more money, more fame, perception of an easier lifestyle, but look closer… what’s under it?

Possibly more work, more responsibility, being in a new position with which you are unfamiliar, more exposure, reduced family time, maybe less personal time for yourself.

Snapshot summary: OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.

So, yeah, you can want success, you can image it and think of all the wonderful things that it will bring to you, but fear will hold you back, because:

4. Emotion is more powerful than thought

While you may have a thought of what you desire, there’s an emotion behind it that’s more powerful.

Maybe that idea was created from a moment of anger or frustration when you realized that things had to change and you wanted a better life.

Maybe that idea was created from a place of peace when you had a quiet epiphany on a way to bring improvement to the world.

Either way, our emotions drive the manifesting process, not our thoughts.

Dig deep into your ideas. Ask yourself what’s driving them and get a sense of the emotions that are associated with your goals.

A sense of fear, or a belief that we are undeserving of success will hold us back from achieving.

It will look like the outside environment is conspiring against us, but in a very real sense, we are sabotaging ourselves.

At that moment of sabotage, we are fulfilling the Law of Attraction by drawing our belief of lack and sense of undeserving to ourselves.

In that way, it’s not that the Law of Attraction isn’t working, it’s that we’re sending the wrong signals out.

The Law is always working. It’s what we’re asking for, or what we are saying we deserve, that is coming back to us.

5. You’re stuck in the past, defining yourself on who you were, not who you are

Are you the same person you were when you were five years old?

Unless you are a six-year old reading this, I hope not. And even then, you’ve probably changed a bit.

Who you learned to be in your childhood is the template from which you decide what you deserve in life.

If you were continually told that you were bad, didn’t deserve anything nice because you always broke your toys or thought that because you received second-hand clothing from your siblings that you weren’t good enough for new things, you might carry a subconscious belief that you can’t have a better life.

Even though you’ve been very successful in many ways, you still see a goal that is ahead of you, un-achieved. Rather than focusing on how far you’ve come, all you see is how far you have yet to go.

To realize your future, it’s time to let go of the script of the past.

You are no longer the person who you were as a child, or even who you were ten, five or two years ago.

You’ve grown. You’ve learned. You’ve succeeded.

You’re still here and there’s still fight left in you.

It’s time to change.

I’m here to help.

Let’s talk about where you are and what’s holding you back.

From the side of the mountain, rather than from the top, I’m here to give you my perspective.

Handing off ropes, pointing out loose rocks and suggesting solid hand-holds, I’m here with you. I was where you are and I’m still climbing.

I’ve recently taken my experience and written a new hypnotic protocol to help my clients remove their perception of barriers and connect more strongly with their goals.

What barriers are you sensing? Where have you been stuck? Where do you want to go? What do you want to achieve?

Write a comment below or send me an email.

Let’s try a new path rather than the old, familiar ones.

PS: There's more on this topic in the upcoming book, Practical Manifesting, by written by myself and Orecia (Iris) Terner. (Notice the word "practical" in the title. It's no secret where we stand.)

 

Five Powerful Things You Need to Know When You Hear, “You’re Fired!”

flazingo.com

How to reframe your personal story from failure to success

“This isn’t working out for us.”

And with that sentence, I was out of a job.

It’s a kinder, gentler way of saying, “You’re fired.”

Maybe it softens the blow, maybe it helps to ease the transition from earning an income to a potential void of currency, or maybe it just makes the other person feel better because in their heart they don’t want to be harsh. I can appreciate that.

Either way, for me, that moment sucked. For many people, that feeling sticks.

I was lucky.

In the moments after that statement, I realized that I had a new perspective on my abilities and my resiliency.

It’s because of these realizations that come from the shock of losing a job, that some people believe that everyone should experience being fired at least once in their career.

Rather than feeling sorry for myself, I immediately took action reaching out to contacts and recruiters to make connections and get referrals.

I also dug in deep on a personal level and kicked up the marketing for my personal business.

Those who have known me for a long time will recognize that this is a massive shift for me.

I used to play the victim a lot. I felt bad for myself when things didn’t go my way; I felt bad for others when things went my way and not theirs; and I felt bad in general – I had a victim mentality that said “life happens to me” instead of “I happen to life.”

I’d look for ways to scramble back to old relationships that were clearly unhealthy, but they were encased in a comfort zone of “this is what I know.” There were familiar and therefore comfortable.

Thankfully for me, the other person tended to recognize the lack of health and stood firm on their decision. I was forced to move forward in spite of myself.

And since the direction was imposed on my outside of my perceived choice, I wasn’t happy with it.

Seeing a pattern yet?

Maybe this confession resonates with you and your experiences.

How often do you define your path forward based on your past?

Do you perceive the closing of one door to leave you alone and without resources to move forward, whether it’s in business, relationships or a personal challenge?

REVELATION: THE PAST DOES NOT NEED TO DEFINE THE FUTURE

Change is almost never easy. (Notice that I didn’t fall for the trite version, “Change is never easy.” That’s a logical fallacy of over-generalization that is easy to fall victim to. It’s a trap that I help many clients get out of when the fall for the similar message, “Nothing ever goes right for me.”)

I have to thank the mentors who have helped me to move past the old, victim-minded me and into the achievement-minded self I am currently.

That path was a challenge for all of us as I kept feeling the pull of the past, the familiar and the inherent perceived safety therein.

Looking back on those years of growth and change, I realize now that I’ve been granted a gift to use to help others navigate the same space. I was acutely aware of the challenges and how I moved past them.

It was hard work, and it gave me the perspective to bring strength to others for their journeys.

Here are five things that I’ve learned in my journey.

Oh, and by the way, I’m still changing and growing. It’s an ongoing process. I still need mentors to help me move forward.

As one of my teachers said to me recently, “You help those who are on the path behind you. I don’t even have it all figured out yet, but I am in a place to help you and you are in a place to help those who are coming along. Do what you can do for them as I do for you and others do for me.”

OK, back to the list.

1. Before You Do Anything, Take a Deep Breath

Assess your situation.

If you’re prone to falling into negative thinking and associating your situation with failure, become aware of those thoughts and SHUT THEM DOWN NOW.

When I teach scuba diving for PADI, one of the safety concepts we teach new divers is how to avoid making entanglement worse. While it’s a rare occurrence, it is possible for a diver to become stuck in fishing line or a net.

The steps for this situation are applicable to life in general: Stop, Breathe, Assess the Situation and Act.

Without that moment to breathe and assess, it’s easy for a new diver (or even an experienced one) to fall into the trap of reacting.

When that happens, they panic – twisting and turning in an attempt to free themselves. Unfortunately, this tends to make the problem worse by wrapping them up more securely.

2. Don’t React, Instead Choose to Respond

Reaction is emotional. They are charged with potential energy of conflict.

Responses are intellectual; they come from a place of perspective and reflection.

If you need to, walk away.

Give yourself time to calm down before taking action.

What do you want to accomplish? What are your goals in this new space?

It’s a blank slate upon which you can write your new destiny. Will it be one of failure or success?

Will you choose to stick to old thinking that left you where you are, or choose a new thoughts that will take you into new territory?

3. Remove Defeatist Negative Thinking

Instead of trapping yourself in ideas such as, “This is not what I want,” “I should have done X and this would be different,” or “I can’t go on,” give yourself a new perspective of personal power.

Choose phrasing such as “My future is mine to choose,” “I did everything in my power to the best of my ability, it’s time for me to move forward with something different,” or “This is just a bump and I am stronger than this event.”

4. Realize That You Have Resources

As I wrote earlier, it’s easy to feel disconnected when we lose a relationship or parts of our network.

But even as one or two pieces fall, step back and realize that there are others to whom you are still connected.

You are not alone.

Others have been where you are, and others will be there after you. Reach out to those whom may be able to help build your positive perspective.

Pay attention so that you can help those who reach out to you in a few months or years – because they will.

Advanced Tip: Avoid the pitfall of commiserating and playing the “Woe is me card.” It’s an easy trap to fall into.

5. Your Thoughts Can Stall You or Save You – It’s Your Choice

"The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right. Which one are you?" - Henry Ford

Our beliefs in ourselves are learned. We are not born thinking of ourselves as success or failures – we merely are alive.

Through shocking events or repetition of exposure to a message (or both) we begin to tell ourselves a story about who we are and what we deserve in life.

Some of us believe that we are undeserving and unworthy of success, love, and maybe even happiness. These ideas are embedded in our subconscious.

As silly as it seems, we reinforce these negative beliefs as our minds look for proof to reinforce the thoughts we have about ourselves. Our mind is doing what it thinks is good for us – reinforcing the story of our identity.

Unfortunately, when these stories are based in false, negative thoughts, they do not help us to reach achievement. Instead they hold us in an uncomfortable comfort zone: familiar yet uninspiring, we stay there because the world outside of that space is unknown and therefore to be feared.

These beliefs about ourselves can be changed. The program is not hard-wired into our brains.

Psychological therapy, behavioral therapy and/or hypnotherapy can all help in creating the new foundation of positive internal thoughts of success.

Obviously, I am partial to hypnotherapy, but I have experienced the other techniques too. At one time or another, they each helped me to grow and reframe my perception of my self and my personal power.

My question to you is, “How can I help you?”

If this confession resonated with you, if my past struggles are similar to ones that you are experiencing, know that I understand and have been where you are.

From that place of empathy, I can offer help to you to navigate your path forward and discover your strength.

Contact me to talk about your challenge. I offer a free 30-minute consultation.

It’s your choice to decide how to move forward.

Choose wisely.

Can You Successfully Overcome Negative Beliefs?

flickr.com/photos/alextrunghuynh/5689642228

Three Answers That Won’t Make Your Day Any Better and One Suggestion That Will

I woke up feeling like a failure.

No, that’s not quite true. I never fully slept that night, so I can’t honestly claim to have “woken up” that morning. It was more like I just carried on from the night before.

Stress and negative beliefs are like that – we get stuck in patterns of thinking that we can’t achieve our goals. Obstacles seem to be eternal and insurmountable, while our energy and time appear to be all too frail, fleeting and limited.

You probably want to know what I did to break the cycle… What wonder-pill cure or quick-fix technique got me back on track?

1.  Here’s your answer: There isn’t one.

Issues like this run deep. The symptoms that appear at the surface, the things that we think are the problem, are just a symbol of it.

It’s like taking aspirin for a headache caused by a brain tumor… You may feel better for a bit, but the underlying problem is still there.

Like all personal work that is rooted in the goal to achieve more, personal development takes work – COMMITTED WORK, LONG-TERM WORK, and, most importantly, FOCUSED WORK.

Many of my clients come to me asking if one session will fix their issue (or them). The answer is no, or at least not very likely.

We learn our beliefs about ourselves over years of reacting to situations. We don’t unlearn them overnight. Repetition to a message is key to internalizing it.

As a hypnotherapist, I work directly with my client’s subconscious minds. This is where we hold our beliefs about ourselves and the emotions that surround them.

By going directly to the subconscious to reprogram these thoughts with new, positive messages, the overall time to change the client’s belief system may be shorter than with other modalities that take place on the conscious level, such as psychotherapy.

Studies have shown hypnotherapy to be a more effective modality than psychotherapy.

But in the end, it still takes time.

2. The thoughts come back

Have you ever thought you were well beyond an issue from your past, only to suddenly have it reappear in your awareness like a screaming dragon, obliterating all other thoughts with its presence?

You’re not alone.

It’s just part of how we work.

The good news is that we have a choice on how we react to these thoughts.

Do we curl up in bed and wait for them to go away, wasting days, weeks or months of our lives to a mistaken belief?

Do we stand up, acknowledge our achievements (no matter how big or small) and tell the negative thoughts that they no longer have power over us? This book helps immensely.

Either choice is ours to make. You do have the power to choose the latter.

Most likely, that is the more difficult choice to make because it takes effort to quiet these derogatory voices. The path of least resistance is to stay in bed.

But what has ever been accomplished by taking the path of least resistance?

3. Others may not understand your choices

When you commit to making changes in your life, you’re going to begin digging up things of which you were not consciously aware. This can be scary and frustrating.

As you process these new challenges, you may want to do so privately or by talking with those close to you (or a professional).

Professionals can help guide you through these dark waters, but your friends and family may not understand your path.

They might not be open to discussing sensitive, emotional issues – not because they don’t care about you, but they may not have the emotional capacity or reference to do so. That’s OK. Just know that they do care about you and will help in the manner in which they can.

It could also be that the events in your life are a mirror to things in theirs. That may be a mirror into which they would prefer not to look, else they be made aware of their perceived shortcomings.

Our egos make fragile shelters.

So, what can you do when struck with immobilizing thoughts?

First, take a deep breath. Or two. Or three. Or more.

Get calm and get clear.

These thoughts are not you. They are merely thoughts.

Think about what you want to accomplish. Ignore the obstacles that you perceive in the moment. Just think about the goal.

Ask yourself, “What one thing can I do today to get one step closer to my goal?”

Then take that step.

Repeat the process tomorrow.

And the next day.

And the next.

If you find yourself struggling with thoughts of failure, or beliefs that you cannot achieve (or maybe are not worthy of achieving) your goal, then I suggest that you consider hypnotherapy as a tool to help reprogram this internal dialogue.

How do you experience obstacles in your life? How have you overcome them?

Please comment below or write to me at daniel@danielolexa.com

Video Blog! What is Hypnotherapy?

Through my Facebook page, I was recently asked, "What is Hypnotherapy?"

The definition used in my training at the Institute of Interpersonal Hypnotherapy is, "The use of therapeutic techniques or principles in conjunction with hypnosis. Treatment utilizing hypnosis."

So, when I meet with a client, we're using hypnosis to help them to achieve their goal of making a change in their life. Maybe it's to stop smoking or lose weight; maybe they have a have a loop of negative internal self-talk that is holding them back from realizing their ambitions.

Why use hypnosis?

Hypnosis allows us to engage directly with the subconscious where emotions and beliefs are held. Through this direct access, the client can realize their results faster than through other methods such as psychotherapy or behavioral therapy.

Interested in learning more? Contact me and set up your free consultation. (Skype sessions are available for clients around the world.)

Together, we'll create your Whole. New. YOU.

Video Blog! How is Hypnotherapy Different Than Stage Hypnosis?

Why are people sometimes afraid of hypnotherapy?

It's actually a very understandable reaction.

I even wrote a blog about it; it's one of the most popular articles on my site.

When their only exposure to hypnosis is based upon experiencing stage hypnotists, they have a false perception of what hypnotherapy is about.

Instead of seeing the power of hypnosis to change negative mindsets and create results, they have a perception that being hypnotized equals being out of control or under the control of another person.

Watch this video to learn how hypnotherapy is different than stage hypnosis.

Three Lessons for Turning Your Life Around After a Failure

Create Your Success and Move Forward

I had to close my first practice.

After nearly a year of sacrifice to reinvent my life, I was shutting down. All that time given to studying -- time created by declining vacations (including one dive trip to the Caribbean), missing dinners and holidays with friends and family and getting up before 5A – felt wasted.

My goal was to build the most popular hypnotherapy practice in my town in Florida. I had written VERY specific goals; visualized a VERY specific outcome; invested time, money and energy into a VERY specific business and it was gone.

It wasn’t lack of business that led to the closing. It was relocation. I was moving from Florida to California.

Exciting, right?

For the first few months in Los Angeles, I didn’t take my own advice.I fought for what no longer was, I lived in the past and I pitied myself.

I’m wired to help other people, but help myself? Nah – What do I know?

A colleague of mine described this phenomenon pretty neatly. He said to me, “Working on your own stuff is like trying to shave your own back. You can probably get some of it, but you won’t see it all and will miss more than a few spots.”

I re-branded and opened a new practice in California.

The journey forward has been enlightening.

Here are three things that I’ve learned from this transition.

1. It’s good to have specific goals, but you also need to be flexible.

In my desire to build a specific business, I branded myself to a certain location. I could see my future so clearly; the plan was all worked out in my mind. I wasn’t going to ever move, so why not use a name that positions me as a provider to an entire region?

Smart, right?

Uh, not so much in my case.

I ignored suggestions from those who went before me. They told me to use my name instead of a regional designation.

But I didn’t listen.

Unfortunately, the initials SWFL don’t resonate well in SoCal.

I had to look at my real goal. What did I really want?

I wanted to have a successful practice. It really did not have to be constrained to one location. It could exist anywhere.

I accepted my lesson and this time, I named my company after me.

Now, if I ever need to relocate again, I can take myself with me wherever I go.

Takeaway: Plan for the unexpected. Create your own flexibility by vetting your ideas and being open to feedback.

2. Once it’s over, let it go.

I let my sense of frustration… no, it was more than that… it was a sense of failure… get in my way.

I let anger take over.

I resented closing that business; I resented California rents and California taxation; I resented moving 3,000 miles and giving up all of my network of friends and family.

Most of all, I resented me.

Instead of taking this tabula rasa opportunity to once again reinvent myself and my practice, I was just wallowing in self-pity.

One day, I had a harsh gut-check and knew that I had to get out of my funk and start moving forward again.

Since then, opportunities have appeared that would have remained invisible if I had not taken responsibility for myself, gotten off my ass and started walking forward.

Is this a hard step?

From personal experience, yes, it can be.

We tend to want what we can't have and look to the past as a better, safer place than the unknown future.

Also from personal experience, I know that we make our path as difficult or as easy as we think it should be. Our personal sense of worth determines our outlook.

Takeaway:  Get over it. Let it go and start moving. Small, consistent steps are as effective as big ones.

3. Celebrate wins. Even small ones.

When you’re in a dark place, it’s difficult to see the good things. Read more on that here.

Once you have started moving forward, recognize your progress, even small steps.

This ritual will help you to more fully appreciate your motion and it will help crystallize your success in your awareness.

What kind of things should you celebrate? Well, that’s really up to you, but here are some ideas:

If you are becoming a non-smoker and had one less cigarette today than yesterday, that’s a win. You don’t need to go cold turkey.

If you are losing weight and saw a one pound loss instead of the two or three pounds that you were hoping for, congratulations, you are now one pound closer to your goal.

Find and define your own successes.

Takeaway: Stop beating yourself up. Start appreciating all the things you do right.

We all recover from perceived failures. We do it when we’re ready… but why wait? Why put yourself through a hell of your own creation?

If you want some help with re-framing your situation, I’m here to help. Hypnotherapy is an incredible tool for unleashing the power of our subconscious mind.

You know my name. You can reach me at www.danielolexa.com.

Online sessions are available.

Your Success 2017!

How many times have you made New Year’s resolutions that just didn’t stick?

After a few days, weeks or a month, you just went back to your old habits.

What about your goals? When it comes time for the hard work to make your outcomes a reality, do you favor short-term distractions and pleasure over long-term gain and success?

In this video you’ll learn how to write powerful affirmations that stick AND how to visualize the realization of your goals for the new year and beyond.

Follow two guided meditations to help you clear your thoughts, become grounded and visualize your goals becoming reality.

This video is 36 minutes long. Please DO NOT watch while you are driving or riding in a moving vehicle.

How to Write Powerful Affirmations for Personal Success in 2017

Create New Year's Resolutions That Stick

Here we are. The end of another year.

Did you accomplish the goals that you set for yourself at the beginning of 2016? Did you set goals for yourself to accomplish in 2016?

How would you like your life to be different this time next year than it is right now? New job? More savings? Better relationship(s)?

If you don't set a goal for these dreams, it is unlikely that you will achieve them in the next year. Actually, without committing to making changes, it is unlikely that you will achieve your goals, period.

Why is that? Well, put simply, if you don't know where you want to go, how do you expect to get there?

“I'll know it when I see it” is not a good enough answer. This response takes away all of your personal power (except for you power of observation) and places you at the whim of any and all elements that can derail each of our lives everyday.

Without setting an endpoint in the future, you leave yourself directionless in the present.

Let's take a simple example, one that is common in New Year's resolutions: “I want to lose weight”.

OK. Great. Now what? Where do you go from here? What exactly does this statement mean?

Does it mean that you'll forego that dessert when it is offered by your friends at the next party, or are you more inclined to be social and accept an extra 300 empty calories into your body rather than standing up for yourself and your health? Which driver is more important to you?

Be honest with yourself now. There is no wrong answer here, just a realization to accept. To what are you more committed, friendships and socializing or standing for your goals and winning for yourself? If you answered the former, you can now see why previous attempts at weight loss may have failed, possibly multiple times.

Make this year different. Choose to win for yourself.

Here are five key points to affirmation writing to help you be successful in your New Year's resolutions. We'll look at each individually and then add them together so you can create powerful resolutions for your success.

  1. Be Specific – The example above, “I want to lose weight,” is not specific. How much weight do you want to lose? It's a good starting place, but doesn't tell us where we want to be in the end. If you lost one pound, you would be successful with this goal, but that's not what you want is it?

State your goal clearly. “I want to lose ____ pounds” or “I want to weight _____ or less.”

  1. Be Positive – Don't write your affirmations in the negative. Our subconscious mind tends not to hear the words “no” or “not”.

In our hypothetical example of losing weight, let's say you choose to remove cake from your diet.

Do you say, “I will not eat cake”?

Read that sentence again. What's the first thing you think of doing after you read it? Probably eating cake.

By writing in the negative, we focus on the thing that we wish to remove instead of focusing on where we want to be in the future.

A more powerful statement would be, “I choose to eat healthy desserts such as fruit”.

  1. Be Present – Write affirmations using the word “Now.”

If you write, “I am going to lose 20 pounds in 2017,” when exactly are you going to lose it?

Will you do it over the course of January and February, then slowly gain it back over the rest of the year?

Technically, by the affirmation,  this would be success – you did lose the weight; you said nothing about remaining at your new baseline.

Or, will you stay at your current weight until October, then cram all of you dieting in over the last 10 – 12 weeks of the year?

Again, this is technically a success. But what happens in 2017?

Make your goal present, “I am now on my path to losing ____ pounds,” or “I am now actively taking steps to weigh _____ or less.”

  1. Be Timely – Not only do we want to be present, we also want to have an endpoint so we hold ourselves accountable.

Set a realistic end-date for your goal.

A healthy rate of weight loss is 2 pounds per week. In the example above, 20 pounds would take 10 weeks. Look at a calendar and count out the time it will take to reach your goal.

Circle that date and commit to it.

“On or by _______, I will weigh ___ or less.”

If your goal seems to large to accomplish, break it down into smaller, manageable benchmarks.

Let's say you want to lose 60 pounds – that's 30 weeks of time, over half of the year. That is a big goal and one that can easily be derailed because the end date is so far out in the future.

With your eye on that larger goal, set smaller benchmarks of 5 or 10 pounds at their dates so you can hold yourself accountable in the short-term and still have an eye on your  long-term success.

  1. Be Bold – Shoot for the stars. You can achieve anything you believe about yourself.

Consider this, there are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic time-frames.

Looking at the example above, if your goal is to lose 60 pounds, and you start on January 1, 2017, it would be unrealistic (and unhealthy) to set a your target date as March 1, 2017.

If in 30 weeks, you have lost 50 pounds rather than 60, be proud of you achievement. Do not worry about those remaining 10 pounds, you've accomplished five times that already. Those extra 10 don't stand a chance over the coming month.

How do these five points all come together in creating powerful affirmations for your success? By using these keys, your affirmations will read something like this:

“I am now on my path to losing ___ pounds by ________”

“I now choose to eat healthily.”

“On or by ______________, I will weight __________.”

“I am now actively taking steps to weigh _____ or less on or by _____________.”

Use the outline to create your affirmations for your specific goals.

If you need additional help in reaching your goals, consider hypnotherapy to overcome any blocks to your success. How do you see your Whole. New. YOU?

On December 17, 2016,at 6PM I will be hosting an intention-setting class in Redondo Beach, CA. We'll create powerful resolutions that stick – resolutions for your success in the New Year.

Write to me at daniel@danielolexa.com to reserve your spot and let me know your plan for achievement in 2017.

Practical Manifesting, Part 1: How Our Perceptions Frame Our World

Practical Manifesting, Part 1: How Our Perceptions Frame Our World

 

perceptions-1

Thoughts are primary tools in our quest for abundance.

In the wonderful world of debatable cliches, we have the classic mind-bender, “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

Does it really matter?

Here's a more important question, one that has significance in our daily lives and the way in which we live them: “What comes first, your happiness or some thing that causes you to be happy?”

I hope you answered the former instead of the latter.

If you answered the latter, we need to talk. But first, read the rest of this article.

Temporary events, and let's be honest, EVERYTHING on this planet is temporary, can reinforce our perspective on our lives. We see ourselves as winners,/losers, good/bad, etc, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah....

We create our lives to reinforce the beliefs that we have about ourselves. I've written about the power of the Reticular Activating System before. You can find that article here.

Let's consider how we perceive this physical plane. The visible spectrum of light exists between approximately 400 and 700 nanometers (nm), within the electromagnetic spectrum. Our range of visible colors range from violet at 400nm to red at 700nm. Ultraviolet light and infrared light exist past their visible counterparts at either end of the range.

While we can't see UV light, we can sense it with our bodies in the form of suntans and sunburns.

More frequencies of radiation exist past these fringes as well. We have created tools to measure these higher and lower frequencies, but we cannot see them with our physical bodies.

But within the range of light that we can sense, how well do we sense it? How absolute is the “truth” of what we sense with our physical body?

Ask yourself, what color is yellow? It seems like an easy question. Yellow is yellow. But ask your friends how they perceive color. Choose a series of paint swatches in a range of yellow, see if you and your friends agree on which are yellow and which may be some other color.

Scientifically, yellow exists in the spectrum at approximately 570nm. Anything on either side of that is not truly “yellow.” Those tones are tainted by green or orange to some degree.

Consider the color orange, yellow's neighbor on one side of the spectrum. It exists at approximately 590nm. Where in those 20nm of variation does yellow become orange or orange become yellow? Every person will perceive these shades of tone a little differently. At either end of the scale, we may have absolute agreement on yellow or orange, but it is in the area between that our finite, physical abilities reduce our ability to agree.

Are you still not sure that you agree with my illustration above? You “know” what yellow is and all of your friends agree with you? Good. I am glad that you discovered a consensus.

Now ask yourself this question: How does a truly color-blind person perceive yellow? To him/her it is merely a shade of grey, not the warm, energetic tone that we who are graced with color vision see. Or, in their eyes, is it an entirely different color altogether? Is “yellow” still yellow in this case?

Physical bodies, physical limitations lead to finite experiences of the Absolute. They not only lead to a limited perception of the world, they also lead us to limited perceptions of our True Selves. Much like our experience with the color yellow above, we limit our beliefs about ourselves to that which we experience in the physical world. We become the stories that we tell about ourselves – positive or negative tales that shape our reality.

PERSONAL PERCEPTIONS

Here is an exercise for you: Write down your perceptions of yourself, now write down your perceptions of your closest friends. What are they like? Are they happy people? Are they successful? What do you most envy about their lives? Ask your friends to do the same for you.

Now, sit together and discuss your opinions and perceptions of each other. You will probably be surprised to find that you see your friends in a more positive light than they see themselves and they will see you in a more positive light than you see yourself.

Which perception is true? Every single one is true. Your ideas of your friends are no less real than their ideas of you. We are all infinite beings with a multitude of layers, each perceived differently by everyone we encounter based on their experiences and awareness. Each opinion/observation is merely a facet of the overall whole of our being. As we embrace all these aspects of ourselves, we begin to see our true nature and the infinite possibilities that come with it.

Let's begin to erase the things we say we cannot do along with our negative perceptions.

OUR NEGATIVE TENDENCIES

For a moment, focus on the things you tell yourself. Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough, too stupid, too fat, too ugly, too poor to make a difference in the world or in your life?

When you try to achieve your goals, what things limit you? What things do you say repeatedly that hold you back, keeping you in a pattern of lack? Maybe,”Same shit, different day,” “It's always the same, nothing changes,” “The world is against me,” “I just can't get ahead” or, “There is no more opportunity left in the world.”

Do you have any others to add to this list?

Let's take a moment to look at those beliefs. Are they truly logical? If you were to look the variety of things that you encounter, both good and bad, during the course of each day, could you really say it's the “same shit”? Probably not, that's an over-generalization.

By focusing on the negative, we tend to see only those things that prove our ego's need to be right.

If you think you are a loser, you'll find reasons to believe so every day. If you think you are a winner, you'll have a different perspective on the same situations.

As humans, we can sometimes have a tendency toward hasty generalization. This is of course, one of the logical fallacies. To speak in absolute terms such as “all,” “none,” “always,” “never,” “everyone,” “no one,” is to discount or ignore the rest of reality. Do you really NEVER catch a break? Does NOTHING ever change? When we focus on negative generalizations we reduce our mental and spiritual awareness the good things that are happening around us and to us every day.

Oddly enough, we stay in this space because it is comfortable. It is all we think that we know. Actually, it is all our ego knows. Our ego is resistant to change, just as are many people. While we can improve our life by making positive changes to it, the factor of the unknown that comes with breaking our of our comfort zone creates fear in our ego. Its job is to keep us safe, so it finds reasons to keep us where we are, whether we are happy or not.

Let's look at this more closely.

Is THE WORLD truly against you, or are you just being dramatic? This is just a hasty generalization – a logical fallacy. With this false thinking, we are merely feeding negative beliefs in ourselves that are rooted in our ego. Our ego wants us to stay in our comfort zone. That is all that it knows and it feels safe. It believes that any changes can only have negative consequences.

Look at all of the wealth created in the past decade; all of the new products and new companies that have become household words.

Can you honestly say, “There is no more opportunity in the world” when you consider the sheer abundance of opportunity coming from just the Internet alone?

Again, when we focus on lack, we see voids; when we begin to focus on opportunity, we find avenues to advance our dreams.

You can choose to break free of your negative perceptions.

Start by downloading my free e-book here.     DESTROY Your Comfort Zone

 

Past Life Regression Part 3: Healing Emotional Trauma and the Science or PLR

Past Life Regression, Part 3: Healing Emotional Trauma with PLR

Learning From the Past; Exploring the Future

PLR Part 3

In my hypnotherapy practice, I've been fortunate to work with numerous clients who were interested in exploring the possibility of previous lives. In each case, these people had tried for years to break deeply seated emotional patterns and limiting beliefs about themselves. While they had achieved some level of success, they still felt as though something was holding them back from fully experiencing and enjoying their accomplishments.

One client in particular was very memorable. As we discussed PLR as an option, he seemed somewhat spooked by the thought. Interestingly, when I said the word “reincarnation” he perked up. That was the touchstone that resonated for him.

This person is an author who was having difficulty promoting his books and believing in himself as an achiever.

As our session evolved, this client visited a past life that took place in the 1920s where he experienced a domineering mother, passive father and a family who did not appreciate his mental/emotional depth. In this life, his lessons were to keep quiet to maintain the peace and put his desires second to those of others. In short, he didn't matter.

One of the fascinating things to watch when a client is in a PLR is their body movement. In the hypnotic state, clients' body language can be significant abreactions. In this case, my client curled up in my recliner, as though he was recoiling from the world that was hurting him in this previous life.

We visited the end of this past life; seeing the death scene was freeing to him as he floated up toward space.

We talked about the lessons that he learned in this life: being alone, being second, being unappreciated. I asked him if he needed to carry the baggage of these lessons forward into his current life.

He replied, “No.”

As I guided him through releasing these faulty beliefs, he sat taller in the chair as each emotional weight was removed.

When he woke from the regression a few minutes later, his face was noticeably less strained, he was smiling and energetic. The experience had been profound for him and she took the lessons of the session with him.

Does this one illustration create a scientific case for PLR? No, it honestly does not.

However, it does have some very interesting commonalities with other past life experiences documented by therapists who have studied the phenomenon.

Dr. Michael Newton, author of Journey of Souls, has documented an outline of ten experiences that are common to those who are the subject of a past life regression. These stages are described perfectly in this article: Did Science Just Prove Reincarnation? A Look At The Soul’s Journey After “Death”

Contrary to the title, the process of PLR has not been proven scientifically.

Sadly, much research into the phenomenon has been sloppy. The work of Ian Stevenson is described here.

In any scientific process, it is important that the researcher be willing to allow his/her hypothesis to be disproven by the evidence resulting from data collection and experiments. It seems that Stevenson accepted surface observations as deeper proof in his desire to prove the hypothesis to which he dedicated his life.

At the University of Virginia, psychiatrist Jim Tucker is taking a more scientific approach. Tucker believes that there is something deeper to the human experience of reincarnation and is working with in the framework of science and quantum physics to discover explanations.

It is improbable that current scientific tools will reveal significant leaps into the realm of past life regression. The experience is more an expression of faith than it is one of science.

As the field of quantum physics progresses, we may find stronger links to the powers of mind over matter and the possibility of the ongoing existence of our souls/consciousness.

Even without hard scientific proof to back it up, the protocol of PLR is a proven tool in healing clients' issues in this current life.

I have seen the improvements that the past life experience brings to my clients. It is a powerful tool in my practice.