7 Reasons Why Smokers Are Losers Who Die Alone

Question: Why do you smoke?

Answer: Because you are a selfish narcissist. Your world revolves around you. Your family and friends are only an audience to the grand tragedy of your life.

Except in this play, when they bring roses and cry “Encore, encore,” you won’t answer the call. You’ll be dead.

Don’t tell me that you’re addicted to it. That’s a cheap answer; the answer of a victim who gives up his/her power to a piece of paper and leaves.

You smoke because you are selfish. Selfish in the most terrible of ways.

Every time you light up, the message that you send to your family, friends and loved ones is, “I don’t care about you. I want to die rather than spend any more time with you. In fact, I’ll go smoke this so I can get away from you now AND cut my life short later too.”

On top of the time you are giving up now, studies show that you lose an additional 11 minutes of time later in your life for every cigarette you smoke.

You’re saying that a stick of leaves and paper is more important than the love of those who care about you, that your choices are more important than their concern for your health.

You’re saying that a deep breath of fresh air sucks, but becomes delicious when mixed with smoke.

You can tell me that you enjoy it. You can say it relaxes you. But you know that’s crap.

Go ahead and choose to die. We all do it anyway, you’re just stepping on the accelerator. Imagine your speedometer climbing with every cigarette: 45…….50……55…..60…70..80..90.100.

You took the checkered flag! You win! You died first!

If your habit hasn’t driven them away, your family will be excited to see your hearse take your victory lap to the graveyard.

The good news is there is still time for you to stop smoking. You can heal the damage that you have done and live a happy, healthy life.

If you still want to smoke, consider these Top 7 Reason Why Smokers are Losers Who Will Die Alone.

  1. Your breath stinks. No, mints DO NOT cover it up. Get over your denial.
  2. Your clothes stink. As you marinate in smoke in your car on your commute your skin and clothes are soaking up all those wonderful smells. NO, you do not smell woodsy. You reek of death.
  3. Your skin looks like dead leather. Remember the Crypt Keeper from HBO’s Tales from the Crypt? Yeah. You look like him.
  4. Your friends and family are tired of competing for your time. They have lives of their own, they aren’t interested in sitting around watching you wasting yours.
  5. You’re a terrible passenger on a road trip. Stopping every forty-five minutes or hour just makes the trip longer. On top of it, you smell.(Oh, and more regarding #5: when it’s too hot or too cold to stand outside and smoke, you think it’s OK to crack a window and exhale out the door. In a very selfish move, you just kept your driver on the road while forcing him/her to accept your habit because you’re not committed to it enough to tolerate extreme temperatures. Selfish loser.)
  6. You’re a health-risk waiting to happen. It’s bad enough that your family and friends watch you actively killing yourself ten, twenty, thirty times a day or more. Do you want them to watch you waste away in a hospital or hospice bed, struggling to breathe oxygen as your body decays to cancer? Selfish narcissist.
  7. You are pissing away your money. You are literally spending your own good money to kill yourself. Stupid. Selfish and stupid. You could hire a hitman to do it faster and save the rest of us from watching your decline.

I hope I made you feel badly as you read this. If your friends won’t tell you this, shame on them. If they’ve tried and you won’t listen, or worse, protest that smoking is your right and your choice, then shame on you.

If you’re ready see with new eyes and breathe with healed lungs, then it’s time to start creating the mindset of a non-smoker. You can get your FREE e-book here so you can learn how.

Hey, it’s FREE. That’s a lot cheaper than a pack of smokes.

Can Past Life Regression Lead to Healing in This Life?

How Can Past Life Regression Lead to Healing in This Life?

Part 1: Is PLR Right for You?

When I discuss the variety of modalities that I use with clients, the tool that raises the most questions is Past Live Regression (PLR).

It is a controversial protocol and concept. It is also typically not the first modality I will use with a client. It is important to me to help my clients resolve their issues as quickly as possible. We'll discuss the schedule of sessions, the tools used in each and then choose the path for them to move forward with hypnotherapy.

One of my favorite stories of reincarnation is that of James Leininger, a two-year old boy who had experiences of a WWII pilot. His story is told in the book Soul Survivor.

Here's a brief video of his story.

At the heart of the PLR concept are a variety of questions, including:

1. Are you open to the idea of reincarnation, that you lived a previous life?

2. Did you live a life before this one?

3. What lessons were you to learn in that lifetime?

4. Are you currently living out patterns based on issues from that lifetime?

5. Can you release these past issues and find peaceful harmony in this present life?

My intention for this series of articles is to discuss the protocol and the ideas behind it. I will leave the judgment of the reality of this concept to my readers as individuals.

As a client-centered hypnotherapist, I work within the framework of my client's beliefs. If they are not open to the idea of past lives, this protocol has no efficacy. Those clients who show interest in the process have seen benefits from increased awareness of the negative patterns which they find themselves repeating over and over in this life.

Once we have brought the pattern to light and given it a story, then we can move forward in changing that story to benefit the client, essentially lightening the burden of the issue or freeing them from it entirely.

So, I can hear you asking, “Is it real?” I can't answer that question for you. I can only reply with another question: “Are you open to it being real?”

As we create this world with our imaginations, so too can we define our lives through the power of story and imagination. Reality is subjective and defined by our personal perceptions. I will address this concept in the next article.

What story would empower you to become your best, to achieve your goals for yourself in (this) life? If you discovered that you had negative beliefs that were diminishing your ability to achieve your vision for your life, what tools would you use to change them?

Western science looks for proof on the physical level. I get that. I respect it. Quantifiable and verifiable are good things when measuring for growth.

Unfortunately, when it comes to faith, science is not necessarily a useful tool in proving spiritual concepts.

As seen in this article from Science Based Medicine, the author disapproves of PLR due to his assertion that it cannot be verified.

In trying to prove his point, he also makes incomplete or fallacious assertions, such as this sentence under the heading, “Could it be Harmful?”:

“Even if it seems to help some patients, it is known to have harmed others. The recovered memories can be very frightening. They can cause anxiety: one inquirer on the IBRT website was worried that he would become stuck in a memory and turn into a different person.”

Look carefully at that sentence. An inquirer to the website was worried that he would become stuck in a memory. HE WAS NOT STUCK IN A MEMORY, as the author's premise of harm seems to indicate.

The questioner was fearful of something occurring, he was not indicating that he was harmed because something had actually occurred.

Another note, since the author asserts it: Yes, some memories can be frightening. So are nightmares, which are also constructs of the subconscious. It is the responsibility of the hypnotherapist to facilitate the client through these frightening memories (if they occur at all) and help them to learn from them.

The author of this article seems to treat the “recovered memories” as manufactured, attacking thoughts outside of the control of the individual. There is nothing further from the truth. The subconscious mind of the individual client will not bring up any memory that the client cannot handle. They may face intense emotional reactions, but they will be able to work through those issues with proper guidance.

Another assertion in the article is that “The past life “memories” are evoked by hypnosis and strong suggestions by the therapist.”

My issue with this sentence is the use of the terms “evoked” and “suggested.” They imply that the hypnotherapist, like a phony medium, is leading the client to conclusions that the hypnotherapist wants the client to reach.

This, at least in my method of PLR, is blatantly false. The only question that I use while working with a PLR client is, “OK, what happens next?” There is no leading of the memory, such as, “OK. You are standing outside of a house. What happened when you walked in the door?” This is disingenuous to the healing of the individual. They must be allowed to experience the memory for themselves and construct the reality of the life for themselves. This is where healing occurs, hence the “therapy” portion of the word hypnotherapy.

If you are stuck in a negative pattern loop in your life, here are some questions to ask yourself to see if PLR is a possible modality for you to use to change your life.

1. Do you believe in the concept of past lives? Do you think it is possible that you lived another life prior to this one?

2. Are you willing to take responsibility for what you learn while in the regression?

If you answered “No” to either of these questions, then you are not likely to be a good candidate for PLR.

Next week we'll discuss why our stories matter and how the tales that we tell about ourselves create the life we are living.

How to be Happy Through Letting Go

How to be Happy Through Letting Go

Discovering Happiness and Freedom Through Forgiveness

Newsflash: Your life is your parents' fault.

Update: Your life is not your parents' fault. It's yours.

This just in: You all have culpability in the situation.

It's an easy position to take to blame everyone else, particularly our parents for our lot in life. They either didn't love us enough or they smothered us. They didn't give us a pony for our 10th birthday or they gave us everything; they were strict; they were too permissive... the list is infinite in variation.

While some form of these events probably occurred in your youth, not a single one of these things is the event that is at the center of determining your current place in your life. The issue is in how you define the event. In other words, it's on you, not your parents.

Realizing our true nature, that we, as individuals have worth, can be challenging. It seems that as humans, we're wired to see what we are not, to perceive what we are lacking instead of seeing our unique contributions to society.

Here is a self-worth quiz from the University of Wisconsin. Take it and see where you rank before we go further.

We're taught to achieve, to aspire to more, that we should reach certain thresholds of responsibility (marriage, income, own a home, etc) by certain ages. If we don't, we're defined as unsuccessful against the norms of society.

Where did those norms come from? They've been created by a collective agreement over decades, if not centuries, of human interaction.

And guess what? Those norms change every generation. What was considered acceptable to your parent's generation may be different than what is currently acceptable to yours. In this area of crossover is where many stresses occur: the older generation(s) holding onto what makes sense to them, trying to help their children fit into what they see as normal/acceptable, do not full realize that the world has moved on.

They're teaching (enforcing) outdated modes of behavior. Modes that when lived by their children in a different time, create stress.

A study at University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research revealed that basing our self-worth on external, temporary things can lead to negative consequences as these things, like our societal norms, change. If the thing we valued changed, can our sense of self-worth be on-going?

When your parents pushed you to be better, they were evaluating you against the template that they sensed as acceptable to them and their world. It's not that they were bad, they were just trying to help you to fit in.

Unfortunately, many parents approach the teaching of what is appropriate from a close-minded approach that is very black and white, instead of from a holistic approach that begins with personal satisfaction.

Consider this: Your parents tell you that you have to be married by 25 to be accepted in society. That you'll be happy with a partner – life is better if you are not alone. That it's not “right” to be single after a certain age – it carries certain stigma for both genders.

Now consider your point-of-view: You're 24 and happy. You're enjoying life far beyond what you ever saw your parents reveal in satisfaction; you're balanced, productive, and most of all, healthy in yourself and your relationships.

What happens when the “married by 25” programming kicks in? Do you ignore it, thereby ignoring your parents whom you love, and continue to live your life on your terms, but possibly nagged by a sense of guilt that you aren't doing what your parents told you that you should be doing?

Or, do you suddenly choose one of your friends (or a new person) as your partner-for-life and get married? You've left your happy single life in the past as you move forward on the road that was marked for you by the breadcrumbs of your parents.

Now how do you feel? You've done what you were told by those whom you love, but maybe you have not been honest with yourself in your desire to follow this path. Are you still happy?

In either of these scenarios, the important realization that must be seen is that there are no good or bad choices.

Let me say that again in all caps: THERE ARE NO GOOD OR BAD CHOICES.

There are only choices. We define these events as good or bad based on our experiences and beliefs in ourselves.

We learn our sense of self initially from our parents. Their interaction with us is a large part of developing our individual sense of worth. Too many people choose to stop there and blame everything that is wrong with their lives on their parents.

Once we start interacting socially, we get different stimuli about who we are and how we interact with friends, enemies, business acquaintances, spouses, etc. We begin to have the tools to define our lives for ourselves.

We can begin to shift our beliefs in ourselves as we take responsibility for ourselves.

Psychologist Carl Rogers understood that each of us has a unique perspective on circumstances. Our perception of an event is based on our personal experiences. Since none of us have the exact same experiences in life, our responses toward an issue or event vary.

I recently heard a story about twin brothers who grew up with an alcoholic father. One grew up to become an alcoholic. When asked how he came to this point in his life, he replied, “I learned from my dad.”

His brother never touched alcohol. When he was asked how he managed to choose sobriety for his life, he replied, “I learned from my dad.”

One common event, two drastically different results due to unique personal impressions.

Rogers believed that people had one motive: to self-actualize. We desire to become our best self; to build on our passions and create something that is uniquely ours in life.

Self worth is critical to this life that we live. When we believe we are unworthy of our goals, we will not actualize. Instead, we remain stuck in wishing mode or worse, in self-defeat.

What is the first step in becoming un-stuck?

Forgiveness.

Forgive your parents for confusing you with teachings that didn't fit your time. Realize that they were doing the best they could with the information they had. They love you and just wanted the best for you. Let go of fear and anger toward them.

Then forgive yourself. You are responsible for where you are right now. No one else got you here. No one else made the choices that brought you to this place. If you are not happy here, forgive yourself for following the path to this place.

Let it go.

You know that there is more for you in this life; you can see the image of a better, happier life, otherwise you would not be feeling dissatisfaction now.

Let go of the frustration, fear and anger. Know that you are worthy of your goals. Take a deep breath and place your past in your past. It no longer applies.

Set the intention to live your life, on your terms, to manifest your happiness. Choose to be happy.

DESTROY Your Comfort Zone

For help in breaking free of the beliefs that hold you back, visit me at www.danielolexa.com to download your FREE copy of Destroy Your Comfort Zone.